Oh, look, another article heralding the rise of robots with “contact intelligence.” Because just when you thought you could finally bond with your latte art barista, a gleaming metal arm is about to take their job. Sure, it’s thrilling to imagine a future where robots can nimbly handle delicate tasks—like serving the overpriced avocado toast you’re too broke to afford—while you drunkenly scroll through your phone, wondering where it all went wrong.
Thanks to these nifty contraptions, the age-old struggle of humans to find meaningful work is slipping further away. Soon, we can expect robots to not only bake bread but also crack jokes, thus eliminating the only remaining reason for humans to exist in the workforce. Picture this: a robot that effortlessly manipulates objects, all while you choke on the ashes of your former career as a skilled tradesperson, left to ponder if you should’ve taken that community college course after all. Spoiler alert: it wouldn’t have helped.
And let’s not forget the charming irony of humans attempting to outsmart these machines. If your skill set involves arguing with a robot about your coffee order, congratulations! You’re officially obsolete. But hey, at least you can still cheer on the machines from the sidelines like a sad, ancient relic of a bygone era. As they say, ‘good luck keeping up’—and enjoy the soup kitchen line!